Archive for » January, 2014 «

The beauty of intimate love in marriage: loving your husband

Sally - Burning-love

Wives are created to be helpers to their husbands to fulfill God-given needs. This study is designed for wives, not husbands. This means that, while there are a great many things God says to husbands, the focus is on what we should do as wives, whether or not our husbands are fulfilling their parts. This is written for wives, and for those who hope some day to be wives! Obviously, the subject matter is mature, but I have made every attempt to be discreet and what follows is certainly appropriate for young ladies who understand that physical intimacy is a part of the marriage relationship!

My husband needs to feel that I desire him. Sometimes experience, circumstances, hormones or health issues might make intimacy challenging. I need to communicate to my husband that I am truly on fire for him, but that fire might need some extra help being kindled. Husbands and wives need to communicate effectively to kindle that fire and keep it burning! Lighting my fire for my husband isn’t optional, it is absolutely imperative. It is part of our relationship and must be nurtured. This is true for all wives. We need to see intimacy as a beautiful gift from God.

Seeing intimacy as God designed it will help us to love our husbands as we ought to love them and as they need to be loved. Sometimes loving one’s husband and nurturing the marriage relationship comes naturally and sometimes these things needs to be taught. If you need help loving your husband, seek wisdom from God’s word and from happily married wives!           more »

Parenting proactively: the way we treat our children

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAMercy and judgment must be a part of parenting… justice cannot be served without mercy. For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment. (James 2:13)

Parenting is a mix of the greatest blessings and the greatest challenges. Most of my readers who are parents love their children and want to see their children love God. They also make different choices about a plethora of things, and yet they have a similar vision for families. It is always interesting to me how different people can use different methods and have similar successes. Sadly, it is also often true that different people use similar methods and experience failure.  The bottom line is often a failure in application. What works for one may not work for another because it is a faulty method. It also may not work for another because it is not applied correctly. Once I tried to implement something that I knew worked for others, but I, unknowingly, left out a critical ingredient. It didn’t work for me! Any time we try to emulate good examples, we have to be careful that we fully understand what it is we are emulating!

Too often, parents are encouraged to spank more with little other instruction. We’ve all heard or read a diatribe about some poor child at the local discount store that ‘obviously’ needed a ‘whippin.’ There is often the assumption that spanking is a cure all for the ill-behaved children of the world. There is a misguided belief that spanking is somehow the answer to all poor behavior. Might I suggest that another answer is TRAINING? When small children transgress the laws of their parents it is often because they have not been trained well. We live amidst an epidemic of parenting failures. It is unjust to fail to train a child and then to punish the child for your own failure. However, that very thing happens all of the time. Parents become furious when children disobey or don’t follow instructions carefully BEFORE they have even trained their children. This is yet another parenting fail=out of control anger disguised as righteous indignation.

Though we are still in the trenches raising our six ‘children’ (three of them are adults) there is something I am absolutely convinced of – parents need to train more and punish less. Parents need to train well and punish when needed, but never reactively in response to anger or irritation. Nelson Mandela said, “There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children.” more »

Category: Musings  Leave a Comment

Sweet to the soul and healthy to the bones

Sally - honey

I have always loved words, perhaps that is why I love to read and write. Somewhere in my head are memories of hundreds of wonderful words spoken to me by others, memories of words I’ve heard or read. I hold words close to my heart and repeat them over and over. When words are lovely and encouraging, remembering them is precious. Yet, as many times as I’ve been inspired, encouraged and admonished by words, I’ve also been wounded by words spoken carelessly (haven’t we all?). Even with our best efforts, we may remember careless words and struggle to keep bitterness from growing from the seeds of ugly words.

Isn’t it strange how a thousand beautiful words from wonderful people can be seemingly erased by a few hurtful words from a near-stranger?  In the midst of being deeply hurt by ill-informed words of a stranger, it occurred to me that I did not have it in my power to change others’ words, but I had it in my power (with God on my side) to control my own words, to use my words wisely, to remember to have the law of kindness on my tongue. Sometimes we use our words most unwisely with the ones we love them most. Our spouses and children are often the recipients of our uninhibited speech, our reactions (mostly over-reactions), our badly chosen responses — all accompanied by unkind words spoken in ugly tones. No matter how we validate our venting unkindness, it is ungodly — plain and simple!

It was after realizing how much power words had to do good or evil, that I began to make it a top priority to season my words, control my tongue, and encourage others to speak with love and kindness. It doesn’t end with word choice, either. So much is in tone. While it is difficult to illustrate with the written word, it is absolutely true that the same sentence can be uttered in a kind tone, a questioning tone, or a sarcastic tone. Kind words can be enveloped in poisonous tones that pierce the heart. Often when attempting not to raise voices, speakers can speak in vehement and angry tones that end up being even more damaging than yelling. “The quietness of his tone italicized the malice of his reply.” (Truman Capote). Consider your speech… your word choice and your tone!

Is the Law of Kindness on Your Tongue? more »

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